Ever get that feeling that you just know something’s up?

I will actually bet hard cash that Vic will ask me to do something stupid today. He’ll come off that it’s an emergency… dire need… absolutely must be done… right now! But it won’t be any of those things at all. He gets like this from time-to-time, where he just has to flex his “boss muscles”; he has to micro-manage me. He wants everyone to know that he is The Boss.

I can almost smell it in the air today. I realize that its like reading the leaves at the bottom of a tea cup. I’ve been doing this job for a long time. It will be today. Trust me.

Watch this!

I gotta say that I’m doing my best to just “breathe”. Its hard to be mindful of that though, when I am so focused on the swirling waters around me. I find myself struggling against the currents instead of just floating alongside of them.

Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.

I should keep this phrase more in mind when it comes to other currents in my life, as they swirl around me, as well. People wanting me to become involved in the dramas that they create by their lack of planning. I feel like I’m being pulled in multiple directions, all at the same time. With each person, not realizing that there are other people pulling in exactly the opposite direction. I feel like Stretch-Armstrong on most days.

My sleep patterns are all over the map… and most of them in the desert. I haven’t gotten to bed before midnight in weeks. When I’m not being woken up at 6:20am to help Daphne with her hair, or take Rebecca to Starbucks before school; I end up sleeping well past the time that I should. Which then makes me feel rushed to accomplish what I need to do in the morning hours, before the day gets away from me.
I need to go back to the gym. 😦

I know that just getting my butt back into the gym would help me in so many ways. Not just the fact that my size 12 pants (the ones that I just bought last year in complete surprise by my own body’s shrinking size) are feeling tight around my middle – but also for the way that my body doesn’t have the same sort of energy that I’ve had in the past. I know that getting up and moving, first thing in the morning, works better for me than coffee, or espresso, at giving me energy to tackle my day. And then there’s my sleep patterns. The days that I get up, go to the gym first thing, end up being the nights that I sleep better.

And then there’s my food habits. They haven’t been so great these days either. If it wasn’t for Tim, I swear I would forget to go pee on some days. I’m grateful that he is in my life, even if from a distance. I know that if he were closer, there would be more physical reminders of how much he loves me and tries to take care of me. Maybe even dinner on the table when I get home, instead of just another pile of stuff I need to get done.

I know that sooner, or later, this is gotta stop. I barely even have time to journal out my thoughts these days.

Oh my goddess!!!! Really?

This is one of the emails I got to answer this week. You just gotta love people’s sense of entitlement. Its not like if he had bothered to call / or read a newspaper / or watch the TV / or checkout FaceBook – he would have found out that we had a freaking FIRE!!!!

So sorry you felt your day was wasted – butthead!!!

Subject : Closed??? Made 50 minute drive for nothing
Comments :
My wife and I went to Vic’s Embers for brunch a couple months back and loved it. We are celebrating our anniversary and planned to come up for brunch today, driving 50 minutes from Winter Garden and paying tolls and all, to enjoy a great brunch to find the place is closed. We looked on the website for times for brunch and never found a notice it was closed before arriving to find an empty parking lock and locked door. Needless to say, we are very disappointed having wasted the gas and toll money and arranging our anniversary weekend accordingly to allow for the trip up for brunch. We are now stuck looking for another option up here having limited to no knowledge of the area. I felt it was necessary to voice our disappointment and encourage you to better publicize the closing so others are not in the same situation. I am currently sending this to you from my phone in your parking lot while my wife looks for another place to eat so we don’t feel like we completely wasted our day.

I have gotten permission to post some of the photos I took of our restaurant last month. This is what I walked into when I was allowed to go into the building. Its a mess, to say the least.

The door was literally broken into, by the LCFD... thankfully.

The door was literally broken into, by the LCFD… thankfully.

The "Ghost" dining room... as if nothing happened.  Unless you try picking something up, because then you'll see the layer of smoke that covers everything.

The “Ghost” dining room… as if nothing happened. Unless you try picking something up, because then you’ll see the layer of smoke that covers everything.

Oh look!  The fire extinguisher, right outside my office door.  Not that it did much good.  :(

Oh look! The fire extinguisher, right outside my office door. Not that it did much good. 😦

My Office.  The door didn't used to have that coloration on it. That is as far as it would open, due to the amount of the debris on the floor.

My Office. The door didn’t used to have that coloration on it. That is as far as it would open, due to the amount of the debris on the floor.

The glass window of my office.  The heat simply shattered the top of it.

The glass window of my office. The heat simply shattered the top of it.

Okay, that should NOT be hanging from the ceiling.  That is my light fixture.

Okay, that should NOT be hanging from the ceiling. That is my light fixture.

The ceiling of my office... things literally melted and metal got twisted in the heat of things, that rolled across my office.

The ceiling of my office… things literally melted and metal got twisted in the heat of things, that rolled across my office.

This is NOT how I left my desk... and just Where did my In-Box go?

This is NOT how I left my desk… and just Where did my In-Box go?

The smoke was being washed out the soffets.  The backdoor has been boarded up.

The smoke was being washed out the soffets. The backdoor has been boarded up.

The heat of it melted the cash register.  :(

The heat of it melted the cash register. 😦

The walls of the kitchen.

The walls of the kitchen.

Look... my hot chocolate mix.  Right where I left it.

Look… my hot chocolate mix. Right where I left it.

Today we spent time going through my office.
Previously, I had only found 3 of the photo frames, that used to sit on my office desk. Bronwyn’s was missing. Today she was found.

There was plenty that we couldn’t salvage…
Cup given to me for Christmas / my FSU tshirt / My favorite grey sweater / the electrical photo album / drawings from the kids / things that made my office ‘mine’…
It was after all – my 2nd home.
Still – 4 simple photos, in 4 simple frames…. that’s a start to rebuilding.

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Found this one on FaceBook. All I can say: Based upon what all is going on in my life, all of the people demanding my attentions, and all the directions that I’m being pulled.

I’m either a bad ass — or Stretch Armstrong.

She was also really Happy on Monday to see our team win the BCS.  :)

She was also really Happy on Monday to see our team win the BCS. 🙂

This is Nina.

My friend had to go out of town for a few days, so I agreed to come over and take her for walks, feed her. That sort of thing.

Before you ask. No, I don’t know what kind of dog she is. The black kind, with some white hairs in her. Either from age, or she came that way. I don’t know.

I do know that she likes to smell things. Every thing. Our walks are more about smelling than peeing. Sniffing than pooping. Crinkling our nose at the ground every few feet, than getting anywhere.

She also has 2 distinct ‘talking sounds’. There’s the 1 whine that says: “Hey, I know you.” Then the other one, that’s much higher in pitch, and longer in the middle, that says: “Now. I wanna go Now!”

Her tongue can also bath you in a single swipe. She has no problem proving this feat to you, at any point you lay any of your body parts, near her mouth.

While JT says that I’m doing him a huge favor. And Nina thinks that I’m doing her a huge favor. (* you try holding you bodily functions for more than 12 hours*) I know that I’m getting the biggest favor… and the most reward.

I am being forced to walk-away from my desk – the house – the kids – and the phone (*cause I can’t carry it and the leash and my water bottle, all at the same time*) — and spend 30 – 40 minutes outside in the fresh air. No expectations. No deadlines. No demands. No disappointments.

Just being with someone who just likes me – for my ability to unlock the door.