I gotta say that I’m doing my best to just “breathe”. Its hard to be mindful of that though, when I am so focused on the swirling waters around me. I find myself struggling against the currents instead of just floating alongside of them.
Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.
I should keep this phrase more in mind when it comes to other currents in my life, as they swirl around me, as well. People wanting me to become involved in the dramas that they create by their lack of planning. I feel like I’m being pulled in multiple directions, all at the same time. With each person, not realizing that there are other people pulling in exactly the opposite direction. I feel like Stretch-Armstrong on most days.
My sleep patterns are all over the map… and most of them in the desert. I haven’t gotten to bed before midnight in weeks. When I’m not being woken up at 6:20am to help Daphne with her hair, or take Rebecca to Starbucks before school; I end up sleeping well past the time that I should. Which then makes me feel rushed to accomplish what I need to do in the morning hours, before the day gets away from me.
I need to go back to the gym. 😦
I know that just getting my butt back into the gym would help me in so many ways. Not just the fact that my size 12 pants (the ones that I just bought last year in complete surprise by my own body’s shrinking size) are feeling tight around my middle – but also for the way that my body doesn’t have the same sort of energy that I’ve had in the past. I know that getting up and moving, first thing in the morning, works better for me than coffee, or espresso, at giving me energy to tackle my day. And then there’s my sleep patterns. The days that I get up, go to the gym first thing, end up being the nights that I sleep better.
And then there’s my food habits. They haven’t been so great these days either. If it wasn’t for Tim, I swear I would forget to go pee on some days. I’m grateful that he is in my life, even if from a distance. I know that if he were closer, there would be more physical reminders of how much he loves me and tries to take care of me. Maybe even dinner on the table when I get home, instead of just another pile of stuff I need to get done.
I know that sooner, or later, this is gotta stop. I barely even have time to journal out my thoughts these days.