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My pretty foot.

My pretty foot.

All the way around to my ankle.

All the way around to my ankle.

These were done by Daphne.

Yep. They were among her first attempts at even doing any sort of henna tattooing.

This all came about because of my sweet sister.

At the beginning of our Sisters Retreat Weekend, we are asked to stand up and announce to the Circle who we are, and what we bring to the community. Some women respond with, I’m a massage therapist. Others say, I’m really good at listening. I spoke of my own truths and talents. Daphne’s response was: I’m Daphne, and I’m not good at anything. I don’t have any talents.

My sisters strove to change her mind on that. And Saturday morning one sister asked Daphne to put a mandala on her belly. She, like many of us, know about Daphne’s talent for free-handed drawings of mandalas. She brought some henna and told Daphne to decorate. So she did. After all, even Daphne knows not to speak back to one of her aunts. LoL

Beautiful henna - made even more so by the little boy inside.

Beautiful henna – made even more so by the little boy inside.

I am so grateful to her, and the others, who encouraged my child. To the ones who complimented her talents. To her for decorating my own foot and ankle. I feel so ubber pretty with my decorations. The only direction I gave her was to start at my big toe, and end around my ankle area. I think that she did an amazing job. I am looking forward to more of her talents being displayed upon my body.

At the end of the weekend, we are asked to give our thoughts on our experiences. Daphne said, “I’m grateful that I now know what my talent is.”


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This. Right. Here.

New Moon Information

I am feeling this. Soooooooooooooo strongly these days.

I am.

I really am.

Lonely vs Alone

Lonely vs Alone

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

I have been in a room filled with people and felt lonely. There being no connection to a single one of them. Not eye-contact. Not physical touch. Not a kind word. Just buzzing that goes around and around and around… with all of it bouncing off of me, instead of penetrating my soul. Lonely.
With a room full of people that I like.
With those that I’m related too.
Even those that are supposed to love me.

I have been out in the middle of the world, without another human around and felt voluminous. Though there is not a soul in sight, I have felt full of other peoples’ presences. All of my senses filled with sounds, sights, tastes, smells, and touches… all of it permeating my spirit. Surrounded.
With a just another single soul.
With my family around me.
Even with people I’ve never even met before.

This seem like an improbability. A contradiction. An anomaly. How could I feel alone in a crowded room, yet feel so complete without another human around for miles? What is it about some people that seem to drag me down and make me feel as if I don’t exist in the world. Yet thinking of the right person will make me feel so alive and vibrant.

There must be a correlation between Orendas. When we meet those that are vibrating on the same level as our own, then that connection can occur. That feeling of oneness. That wholeness. That connectedness. Which then, in opposite reaction, when we meet those who are vibrating at a different level than our own, we feel Alone.

If we are to grow and become a better spiritual wholeness, then we must find ways of bridging this gap. So that none of us feel this loneliness. I wish that I could fix it. I can’t. I haven’t figured it out yet, myself.

I’m working on it.

capacity for love

I’ve had this imagine as a backdrop on my computer for a while now. Usually I find an image or saying that I like, and change it out every couple of days. This one has been here for over a month. It really speaks to me.

I find that in divorce you spend a great deal of time alone. Not just fake alone, where you are in a room full of people and feel alone. I mean really alone. No people around, alone.

I’m not completely alone of course. There are my children, who occupy space with me a great deal. Except when they are visiting their dad for the weekend, or one of their friends. I also have friends that I hang out with; though not any more than when I was married. These are things that I had not thought of when I got a divorce. I actually thought that I would have more time for my friends and such. I haven’t chosen to spend any more time being social now, than when I was married. Okay, a little more; but not great leaps and bounds of time. I joined a book club. We meet once a month. That’s about the amount of added time to my social schedule.

The weekends when the children are gone, I find things to do. I work on my home. I paint a room. I try to keep improving my yard. I get the car washed. I drive out to the beach. I do laundry. I shop and try out new cooking recipes. I journal. I read. I color mandalas. Yes, I am one of the growing trend of adults who color. I actually never stopped. I was one of those teenagers who colored. Then I did it along side of my kids, and made pretend that I wasn’t weird. LoL

The point is, I occupy my time, doing things that I find enjoyable. I am learning to enjoy my own company. I would like to say that I enjoy the silence but I’m not that good yet. I almost always have music on; either the radio, or a CD album in the DVD player. Yes, I use my TV as a very expensive CD player. Its not Autumn yet.

I’d like to say that I’m perfect, but I do have moments where I wish that I were not at the beach alone. That when I see the sun setting, I could point out the beauty that Mother Nature was painting, to some one. Its moments like this that I envy those who have a “Somebody to Love”. I do have a somebody. I have several. I just don’t have them nearby. The closest one is 7 states away. So I am left alone to enjoy the beauty of the twilight sky. I don’t ever get to show it to anyone, but – me; and I can’t just tuck it away and show them when I do get to spend time with a Somebody.

After all, Mother Nature does not believe in Repeats.


This parenting clip is brilliant…must watch to the end!!

Posted by Boys Germs on Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I’ve been doing the “Mommy” thing for 18 years.
I can say that I have been Every Single One (*with exception of disposable diapers*) EVERY Single one of these types of moms. Even with my Ex being a SAHD.
There’s no 1 Perfect way to be a Mom.