So one of the reasons that I have not been here, doing the online journaling thing, is that I have been spending more time doing this.
I know that there are about a 100+ people, out there, in the world, reading this journal. Some of them I know are family, and few friends, who like to keep up with what is happening in my life. This is one way of not having to have, a dozen different phone calls about the same event. Then there are a few people, who will remain nameless, who read this, to find out how I’m failing. Pfffft!! Then there are a bunch, of complete strangers who are reading this, and I’m still not sure why. If I have said it before, I’ve said it a dozen times, I’m not here to entertain you, or anyone else. I write for me. Just me. Only me.
That said, every now and then, I find that taking a pen to paper, suits me. Sure, there are no cool photos to help tell the story. No horoscope entries to give me a jumping off point. No humorous meme to help us all laugh at ourselves. Yet, it does give me a chance to be completely honest, in a way that online journaling doesn’t. Knowing that I’ve got this ‘audience’ sometimes I write like I’m telling a good story. And a lot of my entries are just that – stories of my life experiences. Like any good storyteller, I leave out parts, that I don’t think help the story. Sometimes I don’t share in the parts of my story that are sad, and disappointing.
I’ve had a conversation with my friend, Mahee, about this subject. He’s looking into online journaling as well, thus finding out what all is available. I have thought about making this journal completely private, and not allowing anyone to read it until after my death. Or 50 years, After my death; just to be on the safe side. Unfortunately that would then negate one of the purposes of my journal, and letting my family and friends know what is going on in my life.
You probably noticed that not every entry here is readable, by everyone. They are password-protected entries. Things that I want to share with some people, but not the whole world. Usually its about something that I’ve already written about, but want to add more depth too, and expand upon, in ways that I am not sure how to deal with. Events / places / people/ situations/ thought-patterns, that I need some more time, and space, to express.
It should be pointed out that there are some entries that nobody gets to read. (*until after my death – password is in my Will*) Entries that take the event/ place/ person/ situation/ thought-pattern even deeper than I want anyone to know about.
At one point I thought about typing up my hand-written entries here… No. Freaking. Way…. I don’t have that kind of time. LoL