Rebecca


My eldest has officially grown up, and moved out into the great big world, on her own. ((**Don’t get me started*)) She is transforming and changing into this amazing person that I am so lucky to have gotten to spend 18 years with. Its been hard coming into her room. Okay, took me 11 days to even open the door… but who’s counting.

Little by little, I have been spending more and more time in Rebecca’s room. Its been her room since she was one (1) year, and three (3) weeks old. Again, who’s counting. If it wasn’t her room, it was her and Daphne’s room. Or her, Daphne, and Bronwyn’s room. Then it was for a little bit just Bronwyn and Russell’s room, until she moved back in and we gave Russell his own room.

She’s not going to be a little girl, living in this room any more. So, I’m transforming her room into it’s next phase, too.

Let the transformation begin.

Let the transformation begin.

Oh yes... this is going to take 2 coats of primer.

Oh yes… this is going to take 2 coats of primer.

I can still see blue paint.... pffft!

I can still see blue paint…. pffft!

I really am not sure how to post this. I mean, my head understands that they are going to keep growing up. That really is the purpose of it all, right? Yet, my heart keeps wanting to make them slow-the-fuck-down, on this whole ‘growing up’ thing.
Today they went to the beach.
By.
Themselves!

(*shock*)
((*sob*))
(((*sigh*)))

They knew that I had a client today in Cocoa Beach. They wanted to go to the beach. They wanted me to just give them a lift there and then go assist my client. They acted as if this were the most normal thing in the world to do.

((((***sighhhhhhh***)))))

My Baby Girls.... all growing up and shit.

My Baby Girls…. all growing up and shit.

“One Day” has magically arrived, like the fairy tales describe. It was just suddenly here. I thought that there would be more time. There isn’t.

Kindergarden

Kindergarden

The sun is bright -n- shining today ~ just like you.

I can still see the excited litlle girl, who laid out her red flower backpack 13 years ago.  Who wanted me to braid her hair each morning, “2 braids Mommy!”.  Who always insisted on wearing a dress, and that I not cry.

My heart is full of Love for you.  Joy at the beautiful girl you’ve grown into.  Pride at the way you are chasing your dreams with both hands.

Senior Year

Senior Year

Now before me stands an excited young woman, laying out her cap and gown.  Wearing soft curls in her honey locks.  Twirling around in her princess dress.

And insisting that I dry my tears.

My daughters have been like having twins, in more days than not.   Even when they were little, everything we did, we did in pairs.  Change 1 diaper – change them both.  Do one girl’s hair – then do the other.  I taught Daphne, right along side of Rebecca, when doing numbers, shapes, letters, colors, and so forth.  They learned to ride a bike on the same day.  They spoke within days of each other.  So many times it was like Rebecca was waiting for Daphne to ‘catch up’ – before she would do anything.

Same thing for the prom.  This was their first year going.  Each of them…. Together.

My beautiful daughters.

My beautiful daughters.

You gotta get down... you'll be taller than me in those heels!

You gotta get down… you’ll be taller than me in those heels!

Daphne - Classic elegance

Daphne – Classic elegance

Rebecca - Princess

Rebecca – Princess

becca and me

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“Which were you?
The princess
The brain.
The jock.
The basketcase.
The rebel.”

Rebecca and I went to see the Breakfast Club last night.  I like how she really got into the movie.  Then she actually had nice, intelligent commentary about the film.

So rebecca made a big claim on Twitter last night about how awful her life was, and that she had cut herself.
So I asked her about it, today. Wanting to know if this was real, or just something to get attention.
She was noncommittal in her response. And refused to show me any marks. And so I told her, “Well okay that’s fine play the role.”
Well Rebecca decided that she had to prove me wrong. 
She showed me where she cut her skin with a razor blare. 
6 little red lines.
Like a message, Of my little sister can do it, I can too.
It’s just a cry for attention. 
She was actually smiling, as if she was proud of herself, for proving me wrong.
Pfffft!
I’m starting to get bored with the things that teenaged daughters come up with,  to garner attention.
Between this, Bronwyn’s temper tantrums, and Daphne’s gauges and hair dye jobs….. I want to curl up in an over sized chair, with enough books and good wine, to last me till they are 20, 23, and 24.

So there’s this boy band. LoL

Rebecca is in love with the boys of this band. She has got their posters alllllll over her room. She wanted to go and see them in concert. The tickets sold out in hours of going up. Tim came to the rescue back in January. He even bought a 3rd ticket for Rebecca to take a friend. After all what is a concert experience if you can’t take your very best BFF? Yet, he respected me as her mom, and knew that I felt she needed to earn and respect this gift that was coming her way. To be grateful for it. So he agreed that she and her friend, would have to earn the money to pay for the 3rd ticket. Well they did. It shocked me. And I think it shocked them too.

So I picked the girls up early from school and drove them to Tampa. I even wore the shirt that Rebecca made me, so that I wouldn’t look too geeky, in front of the other fans there. 🙂

While it was a beautiful night for music, and the seats were literally perfect for viewing the concert. Not the upper nosebleed section where you had to crane your neck down to see the ant-like people. Not on the bottom where you had to crane your neck up, to see their feet. We were able to view them straight ahead, and close enough to make them all out individually. Despite all of this, I enjoyed watching Rebecca’s reaction to everything, more than anything.

If I could give her a life experience where she got to live like ‘this’ every moment, of every day… I would.

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