Focus surely has its place, but that place ain’t nowhere in your life today! Prepare for your mind to wander right now, because wander it will! This is a wonderful time for exploration, when your brain will be coming up with all sorts of outlandish and nutty schemes that will probably never see the light of day — but that doesn’t really matter, does it? Just have fun creating things — songs, poems, cocktail recipes, funny faces, rhymes, you name it.

Well that sounds about right. And a good thing I’ve brought my journal with me then huh… It will give me a place to write it all down and out of my head… Especially on the flight to the west Coast.

Russell: *whining* There’s too many girls in this house!…. Me: Why do you say that honey?…. Russell: Because I have to pee and there’s no bathrooms left!

Then of course a conversation insued between me and some of my friends over how to fix the situation.

Andrew C. Earl thats what the back yards for Russell

Marcella Yearwood-Stinchcomb That’s exactly what I told him Andrew. ….. I did politely remind him to aim for the grass and not my pavers.

Elizabeth Castorina-Hardy Poor kid!

Marcella Yearwood-Stinchcomb Sure Elizabeth, but as the only boy he does get his own bedroom. There’s gonna be trade-offs. LoL

Andrew C. Earl get him a camping potty for his bedroom but if he uses it He has to clean it

Marcella Yearwood-Stinchcomb No way Andrew! At least when he sprays in the bathroom its a tile floor. I just got new carpet in his bedroom.

Andrew C. Earl lmao, you havn’t instituted the “sit down no matter 1 or 2″ rule yet eh

Elizabeth Castorina-Hardy That is a good trade off and I like camping potty idea! That’s funny!

Marcella Yearwood-Stinchcomb Oh Andrew. He’s 6, not a drunk man. LoL He wants to stand up just like Daddy. Elizabeth, you getting one for your son? Let me know how it works out.

Elizabeth Castorina-Hardy Ok, but he doesn’t have to fight for the bathroom! Lol

Andrew C. Earl one of my college buddies had that rule due to all the beer drinking guys…….not me of course, I have Perfect aim!

Venessa Vella-Fitchie Poor little guy…to think this is only the begining.

It’s more important than ever for you to balance your life now. The stars say that there is a great imbalance building, and it could send some bad vibes your way unless you address it. Take a look at how you spend your free time, and you will quickly see that you are neglecting some things and some people. Call up that friend you haven’t seen in a while — your relationship needs maintenance.

That might explain why I’ve gotten sick. I’m fighting it. I need to get to Vegas. But I am also spending so much time at work that I am needing my family. I get so juiced up and filled up on the stuff I need to keep going from being around my kids. It crazy, I know. So yesterday it was lunch and shopping with Momma. Followed by cards with the kids. I would have done some ‘movie night’ but my body said ‘no’… too much snot.

So today its working at Vic’s – yes don’t yell at me. Somebody’s gotta count the money… then lunch with the family at Momma’s. I’ve made my vegan baked beans to contribute. Where the girls and I are hoping for some more Mexican Bridge or a good game of LittleJo.

And yes – I will turn my phone off!

When you’re in a restaurant and you don’t get the service you deserve, you can talk to the manager and get the matter straightened out. But when you’re in a relationship and you’re not getting the level of attention you deserve, you need to go to the source. There is no side-stepping in this situation. You can complain to your friends all you want, but nothing is going to change until you talk to the person who needs to hear what you have to say.

Well that would be fine-n-dandy if the person I was having difficulty with would actually communicate back to me.

And yes, I have complained to my boyfriend and my friends, and they all understand my side of things. They tell me things like I deserve so much more than I am getting from him. That I am an amazing woman. A strong woman. That he should be falling over his feet in gratitude that I am in his life at all. That he is a lucky man. That there are people who would give their right arm to have me notice them, let alone love them.

If only he thought he was blessed, instead of cursed. Perhaps this isn’t going to work out the way that I wanted it too. Perhaps he will never get better. Never be able to love himself. Never be able to love me back.

I wish that I had the right answers – but I can’t get them if he continues to just shut me out.

The art of loving yourself requires a great deal of prioritization. So if you’re invited to a great party or get together, it’s important for you to realize that if you attend it, you will be sacrificing some important time to yourself. Self-nurturing should not always be put on the back burner. Every once in a while, you have to put it first and give yourself the attention you need. If any part of you dreads mingling with a roomful of people, do yourself a favor and politely opt out.

Sounds like a good day to stay in bed, huh. Or even just snuggle around a fire and let my mind wander all over the place. Maybe practice some meditations to help clear it. It could just be one of those West Wing nights… maybe with some popcorn, that I was promised last night but didn’t get.

Not that I had anyone asking me to go out. Okay: I did. But then they backed out of their offer for lunch, so I had some tuna salad n crackers while checking in the Sysco order for Marvin. Which really is not quite the same, but at least he was grateful for my assistance. And he tells me so.

I wished that Barry told me so. Yesterday I brought up my lunch date to him and he ‘blew up’ with a full on temper tantrum. So when he had calmed down I talked to him. He was feeling overwhelmed and needy. So I cancelled all of my plans for last night and we were going to have a ‘date night, in’… a movie, some popcorn, and just us.

That is not what I got.

I greeted him warmly when I got home. He even had a kiss for me. But then something happened and he snapped. I helped with dinner – he bitched. I offered to watch TV of his choice – he sulked. I offered him some of my lentil soup – he snarked at it. I even so much as said a word – about anything – and he would cut me off, mid sentence. Which upset me – but when I pointed it out to him – he laughed at me and called me names.

I watched the movie in complete silence – not touching one time – a complete waste of time really – no popcorn of course. Then he laid down and went to sleep. Not offering to cuddle with me, or wanting me to join him… so I watched TV. Stuff I don’t even understand, or care about… played a bit on FaceBook… and wished for a different life with a husband who wanted to be with me, instead of using me as his punching-bag when he didn’t feel good.

*sigh*

What gets me is that Rebecca went into moon on the 1st. Which is also fine and good. She is also on a normal 28 day cycle now with her hormones.

Now why is this so interesting that I would journal about it? They are on the complete opposite ends of the month. Polar opposites – again!

Their whole lives – as infants even – growing up and developing – They were always the ying-yang of each other… pick any part of a person. Rebecca is one thing – Daphne is the opposite of that. Left handed – Right handed. Blond hair – Brunette. Morning bird – Night owl. Particularly neat – Can’t find anything in her drawers. Small chested – Busty. Cautious about each decision – Caution to the wind.

And of course now their moon cycles….

Just because there’s a wall in front of you doesn’t mean that your journey has ended! Hold on to your objectives and don’t give in at the first sign of trouble. And don’t even think about getting another person involved to help you out. Whatever obstacles you encounter today will be fun, educational and easy to surmount. So have a good attitude. Keep trying, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly all those bricks will come tumbling down.

I’m so grateful for the reminder… I was so worried that I would not have enough time/space/energy to put forth into this to make it really special. I was only able to get through half of my Prayer Ties last night, and have been trying NOT to berate myself for the failure of the goal to accomplish them all in one night.

I remembered tying them all in one night the last time I quested – but then I remembered that unlike that time – I’m a working mom with 4 kids – husband and boyfriend – and other friends – and a State Audit… and that last time I spent the whole day doing them… not just one night.

Cause at 452 prayers – going at a minute a prayer – its gonna take 7 and half hours at the very least….

And I don’t pray that fast.

A friend of mine and I were in YIM the other day and he had lots of questions and concerns about what a Vision Quest was. The chat has given me a good outline for explaining it. So to Andrew, thank you for asking your questions, they have made a good journal entry.

Marcella Stinchcomb: Let’s see: I’ve told you about the Sweat Lodge, right?

Mesculine or Peyote? And is there going to be a qualified medical person there to monitor you? Seriously, I’m worried about this.

Marcella Stinchcomb: Andrew calm down. Nobody is taking any kind of drugs. That is just hype for the movies. It is a moving experience, but based solely on inner space. I don’t know the variations of other things you’ve read, so I will just let you know how it is with me.

So preparations: You make the commitment to go a year in advance. Each month working towards going – even if its not a conscious effort – some part of me always keeps it in mind that I am going and I find ways – sometimes small ways – to work towards it each moon cycle.

This last month its been even more of a pull. The nagging feeling in my heart/ voice in my head / spirit – reminding me. Pulling me. Its even been very hard to even get my own work done, because of the pull of it.

This last week I’ve been compiling my things – gallon of water / rock / firewood / prayer tie fabric / tabacco / tent… You may have seen a post of mine on FaceBook last week about my V.Q. packing lists…. I’ve got 3 of them by the way. LoL I know – not surprising.

Having been presented with my Drum – my spirit drum – in the last couple of weeks has added to that pull a bit. Also giving me a bit more anxiety – and doubt. *the story of my drum and I getting together is a story for another day – please remember to ask me about – its amazing*

Preparing is almost half of the work – if not 2/3rds. Tieing the Prayer Ties being a bulk of it. There are 452 prayer ties – and there are some rules for them – which I won’t go into now unless you want me too. In the past just sitting down to work on the Prayer Ties has pulled me right into V.Q. before it has even started. I had wanted to do them on Saturday but just had to come to work – there would be little to no way that I would be able to sit in Teyoweh knowing that there was this stuff in my ‘in box’.

Question: So will you be with the group or on your own?

Marcella Stinchcomb: Both. Sort of. For our Circle – the Women’s Turtle Council of the 13 Moons – we allow any one who has prepared properly to attend. And welcome anyone who wishes to come and be in the space of the V.Q. to add their support. Not that they will be the only ones supporting us – there is a network of other sisters / other circles / other fires – all adding to the support of us questing.

The order of events:
Set up your basic space: Tent / personal items / readiness for lodge / etc.
Funny – even with a dozen or more women all on the land at the same time. I’ve never seen another woman while she was in her space – and not had another seen me. We all seem to just find a way to be alone.

Friday afternoon: Bringing your Prayer Tie bundle you walk into the Sweat Lodge space. Talking is fine. But most people are too quiet already. Sometimes we’ve drummed. We place our Prayer Ties on the Spirit Trail – that lies between the Fire and the Lodge… where it is blessed for us.

Sweat Lodge – where you may speak up until the moment that you enter the lodge… this is not like the others… all prayer is done in silence except for the singing. There is also NO leaving the lodge until the north round is completed… also unlike the others when we could come /go in between rounds.

Once lodge is over – you pick up your Prayer Tie bundles, and retreat to your own space. Place your Prayer Ties around your space… leaving room for a spot to pee/ poop in – cause you really don’t want to do THAT in your tent. LoL

Sit.
Pray.
On Sunday the drum will call you back to the Sweat Lodge.

Taking your Prayer Ties down – you give them to the Fire – then enter the Lodge – again all prayer is done in silence except for the singing – and there’s no leaving until the north round.

Question: So someone will be keeping an eye on you. So how long with only one gallon of water? This sounds very Native American Indian (ish) but what are the origions of it?

Marcella Stinchcomb: : I think that perhaps mainly Cherokee. But only because that is Kelli’s historical backround… it could be Seneca as well as Navahoe. You are allotted 1 gallon of water and 2 corn muffins. But the muffins are best made by your own hands to be fulfilling.

The woman (Turtle) who is tending the Fire is basically supporting our physical bodies for us while we each journey. I don’t know why it works – but it does. I’ve never felt hungry while doing this. Or thirsty. I have to actually remind myself to drink the gallon of water on Sunday morning / afternoon to be some what hydrated for the 2nd Sweat Lodge.

No one has ever had a negative physical reaction to this. Not even the few pregnant women who have done it. I am sure that if there were a problem – Kelli would take care of it – she is an EMT as well as a CNM. There is a magic about it.

Question: Will it help center you for the new year?

Marcella Stinchcomb: It does what you pray for. It is all in what you put into your Prayer Ties. They act like a boundary. Once you set them – you don’t leave them. Not for anything. Not even to poop. I’ve had a snake come right into my space the first time – and I was terrified. But I stayed put.

And it is unlike any experience I have ever had. Each one is completely different.